Positioning Strategies

well.. Exams of a sort are upon me once again.

I'm sailing away

Yesterday I went sailing. I mean, I'm not a yuppie, but I'm working towards it, and sailing fits the lifestyle you know. It's also pretty enjoyable.
It's not hard to see why I like it. I mean, it's fun enough, and you get a wicked sunburn. Also, my boat is so excellent and decrepit. I'm going to fix it though so It's all pretty again, and that will be fun too.

Standard Deviation

I suppose this would explain why I go through so much paper.

Serenity Now!

Well the results of my Seinfeld poll are in. Four votes cast. 50% David Puddy, and 50% Jackie Chiles. I was sure I would get at least one vote for Uncle Leo.

New glasses

Today someone told me I looked like Matt Good. I kindly informed him I was going for Rivers Cuomo. Truth be told he might have been right...er.

We are moved to tears by the size of this thing

The zen art of driving Lamborghinis

This title is self evident, but I've been trying really hard to write something about this for a long time.
Chad Kruger's recent conviction is what spurred this post. The subject came up in one of my classes, and one lady was perplexed by the fact that Chad has millions of dollars and doesn't hire a driver. This made me perplexed. She wasn't joking. Or rather: She wasn't joking!!! I mean I can't condone the chump's DUI, but he has a Lamborghini. No driver is self evident.

I like to graph

Man! I was in the zone in March!

Muscle Beach

So it's spring and the weather is getting nicer, but I still go to the gym. I ride the stationary bike, and run on the stationary treadmill. I couldn't figure it out for a while. I mean, a year ago, the concepts of 'stationary bike' and 'treadmill' were antithetical to my existence. In the winter I could almost appreciate them, but once it is warm and sunny and nice and all, anyone who didn't go outside was a chump. Pumping iron I can see, ... see to the MAXXXXX! but for running or biking? Hrm.. Then it finally hit me. TV. Closed captioning brought to you by Tylenol. Watching Snoop videos while I listen to Yellowcard on my mp3. I don't have any of that at my crumby little basement. I really should go outside, but I'm going anyway for the pumping of iron part, right? So I may as well watch Sue Thomas FBI while I'm there. I'll get a sunburn later when I mow the lawn.

Super Intelligent

So I’m always wondering why Clark Kent isn’t super intelligent. I mean he’s not stupid, but I feel like with his abilities, he’d hardly be in any way of ordinary intelligence. Regular Joes like me can only read so fast. The human eye focuses on one spot then another, then another etc. Some people get pretty expert and speedy, but cannot hope to read even a tiny fraction of all human kind’s published knowledge. Superman though, can see bullets and is dexterous at super speeds, so I think he should be at least able to read way faster than the fastest human. Way being in metric and at least as fast as Johnny-5 from Short Circuit. Maybe it’s cause he was raised in Kansas. They don’t seem to be known for their book learnin’ there, or maybe he was just always busy on the farm. I often find myself wishing I’d learned to fix a tractor instead of reading Great Expectations. And really, it might be a good thing that Clark didn’t become super intelligent. I know that the more books and information I take in, the more depressed and disillusioned I get. Then again, maybe Clark has read every book and exhausted the resources at the Fortress of Solitude thus transcending philosophical query. This could explain why he is able to hold such conviction, be the judge of right and wrong and devote himself to preserving life and the greater good. Well…that’s maybe too optimistic. That is to believe that the end result of accumulation of knowledge has positive repercussions.

Then I wonder why I’m always wondering about fiction.

Maestro

Robots are so cool! And not just because 'Rob' is in the word. I think the word also comes from the Czech or Slovak for serf, I guess that's robota or robotnik. Then there's that RUR guy Karel Capek who used it in its present meaning.
Anyways. Despite being so excellent, they're a huge pain to draw. As you can see I gave up above.
On the news the other day there was a Honda robot conducting an orchestra. I mean neat! If kids nowadays won't grow up with any appreciation of culture, at least the machines created in man's image will. I'm maybe getting a little excited. But I guess I just wish that I had a plasma cannon for a right arm. That could be inconvenient in the shower, so it's probably for the best.

'sup Parn

Last night I caught the end of the Chronic -WHAT? - cles of Narnia.

Painting a landscape

So I mowed the lawn for the first time this year. And may I say: It was excellent. I really like mowing the lawn. Not only does it allow you to get out and enjoy nature and such, but it also allows you to get out and destroy it a bit too. I’m also getting pretty good at small engine repair. But cutting grass is a bit more than that. It’s a little like an art. An art where you burn gas. Like that guy I saw on Daily Planet who paints with jet engines. Nevermind. On second thought, that might not be art – or maybe art for suckers - but he is burning gas.
Anways, back to the lawn. It’s like a game of snake, except you can mow over your tail, and when you’re done the lawn, it looks pretty and you have an excellent sense of accomplishment, and a sunburn. Awesome.

Super sunburn

I am all about being sunburnt... Today I painted a wheelbarrow. Green if you must know.

Rob studies for accounting

House of pain

My face has been having a bad week. And it’s not good face pain, like when I get knocked around playing hockey. Instead I look like I was trying to lick the egg beater while it was still plugged in. It all started with the zit from hell. The zit wasn’t so bad at first, but I popped it and then it’s right by my fat mouth. Since I can never leave well enough alone, my hands are always going here and there, and it won’t heal properly. It’s Kinda like when you bite the side of your tongue and then it’s a little bit swollen and you can’t stop biting it. Fwig! And then this morning I cut my lip and then my chin shaving. That tells me I need to get a new blade, but it has also left me with an unsightly dark scab on my upper lip. And because I lead a some-sort of bachelor life, my eating habits are based upon necessity (in other words: I eat like a pig at home) and that scab keeps getting bombarded with food and opening up. In the wise words of Shikamaru Nara: “what a drag.” Apart from that, I’m always banging my forehead on something, but I’m used to that. It comes with being too tall.
Now, If only I could get some of that good face pain.

Contributory Negligence

I have four finals this week. Two down. I'm not too worried though.

Dish cloths and Scotch-Brite pads

Has anyone else seen the new Canadian Tire commercial, where the lady holds her breath, and runs into the kitchen to wash some dishes because her sponge thing smells too bad to continue. Then it's a commercial for some new odour fighting soap/sponge handle. Really!?!? [you now have to imagine i'm saying it like Seth or Amy on SNL]... Really?!?! Don't waste your money on chump devices like that. All you have to do is rinse your dish cloth and Scotch-Brite pad when you finish the dishes, squeeze them out and hang them to dry. You now have merely to wash the cloth in the laundry once in a while, and replace the pad when it disintegrates. If you have a bottle brush, rinse and shake. Stinkiness will be a thing of the past in your sink, unless you leave dirty plates too long in there. But who could resist washing the dishes for any real length of time.

Ruminations on Speed

Nah, i'm not trippin' balls, but I have been thinking about the movie again. Jack Traven is our hero, protagonist, main guy, A1#1. And he wears the most practical vest ever. Then we have Howard Payne, antagonist, jerk extraordinaire. But really Payne is Jack, only 30 years later. He's the bad guy, so they say he's 'evil', a 'madman'. But really, disillusionment is the real bad guy. Jack just got older, a wild-man, taking risks for a job he once believed in, but one year he wakes up and he's 65. Something's missing. He's never been able to commit to anything in his life but his job and the thrill is gone, he's pushing paper, and then they tell him to go home. A gold watch. A tiny pension. If only there was some way to get that thrill back, and get rich too. Well...Admittedly, things blowing up is cool.

To oblivion, and beyond!!!!

Well, I like riding the bus, but only leisurely bus riding. If you have to get somewhere, it's quite slow, and in Peterborough, not so reliable. I often take it to go to the library. Time is not pressing, so I can spend the time turning my music way loud and looking at stuff as it goes by. I suppose I could do that even if time was pressing. Anyways, angsty rock music is my favourite.

It also gives me the opportunity to hone my non-eye contact skills. I can bring anti-social to a new level on the bus.

The other excellent thing about transit systems in general is the colour coded route lines. Theres something to be said for those solid block lines weaving about among a bunch of bold sans serif local names.

Gundam Suit

http://watch.discoverychannel.ca/daily-planet/march-2008/daily-planet-march-25-2008/#clip40856

This guy in Alaska is awesome. He built a Gundam suit. It's not quite Nirvash, but sooner or later.

Standing like cartoon characters

Here's a picture of me standing like Uzumaki Naruto. I've been practicing. It's harder than you think to stand with your arms behind your head and a stupid expression on your face. I've also got to remember to put on my deodorant, that's for sure.
But why really?
It's pointless to exemplify real humans in any way because they're generally flawed and uninspiring when you really get down to it (Excepting perhaps Jesus, and maybe Socrates). Fictional creations to the contrary are whatever their authors made them to be. Don't worry, I haven't given up on humanity just yet. If everything and everybody were straightforward, there'd be nothing to blog about.

Judge lest ye not be judged

One of my favourite things to do while I'm walking to school is trying to imagine who a particular shoe print might belong to. Sometimes the snow is just right, and it leaves perfect footprints. There are some pretty excellent shoe and boot bottoms out there. It follows that there should be some pretty excellent people too. It's not totally guess work either, though that would probably be fun too. I pass lots of people on my walks, so I can see what their shoes look like and what prints match that person. You can often determine their gait, weight, means, gender and age just by looking at them. My assumptions about their tastes in music, or whether they have self-esteem issues are purely my own imagination though. I might ask truth of the people I see, but that would require asking the people I see.

I wear my sunglasses at night

Ok, lately the sun is getting more brilliant. This is bound to happen in the spring time, but I'm suddenly noticing that I'm talking with people wearing sunglasses more and more frequently. It's hard to look at them. Am I making any eye contact? or too much? I'm already awkward enough when it comes to social etiquette, and this just makes it harder.
And then, when I'm walking down the street or the hall I also wonder: are these people in their cheap sunglasses looking at me? They might be, I can't see their eyes. "Stop looking at me! I'm going crazy!" I yell at them. That way I know they're looking at me, and I feel better.

Why are you puching yourself? Quit punching yourself.

I got in a fight. I guess it's my fault. I drop kicked... er correction, flying kicked a snowman. He didn't seem to like that. He also didn't seem to like it when I tried to hoist his icy torso above my head, because my hoisting arm smashed into my face when the piece it was gripping broke off. I suppose it serves me right. I mean what would anyone hoist big icy pieces of snow off the ground for? Pictures like this i guess.