Golden Calf

Ouch, my calves kill. It's because I ran a half-marathon on Sunday. I suppose I did it for the T-shirt. I might have collected pledges for the charity, but I wasn't sure if I was going to chicken out at the last minute. But I didn't, and it was fun. It was a little disconcerting to try to keep the pace of a sixty year old woman I was chasing the whole race. There seems to be some sort of sense of accomplishment that is outweighing that feeling though. Check out the results: http://www.roadraceresults.com/display-race-results.php?racename=2008-peterborough-y-half

It's rediculous how fast that dude finished.

Rock Electrasolid

Has anybody seen that Electrasol commercial where the announcer says doing things twice just doesn't make sense. There's some scenes of people doing things twice. One lady irons a shirt then crumples it up and starts again, or a guy finishes vacuuming and dumps the dirt back on the floor and starts again. Then she asks "So why wash your dishes twice?"

well...

'Let us excercise the guns Lieutenant'

So phew, I must correct two errors in my last blog. It seems that commercials do have closed captioning. I was at the gym (Yes I go to the gym, in the hopes that someday I can be on Hot Chicks with Douchebags), where I beheld commercials with closed captioning, but in my defense it was by no means every commercial. As for the other error, it seems trancelike is a word and needs no hyphen, but I'm leaving it as is, because it is even funnier, and at my expense.

TV in CC playing 10CC

It used to be that I only ever saw closed captioning in bars. It would be Hockey Night in Canada and the Leafs would undoubtedly be blowing another two goal lead. So I'd drink some more and try to read the scores of the other games flashing at the bottom of the screen. But I'd be having trouble catching all the scores because the words of Harry Neale kept getting in the way in the form of horizontal black blocks spreading across the screen. I would think: 'reading's for chumps'. I was biased though because I probably had about six or seven articles and a couple of books to read that week. So it followed. Obviously I had not yet discovered the real purpose of closed captioning: to ROCK.
It started while I was working up in Canada's Arctic. After a long day of work sucking, there's not much I liked doing more than plugging in my electric and playing loud punk songs way too loud in the little rooms I was too loud in. Loud. Then I'd probably watch TV. One day I got put in a house with another Northern worker who kept complaining about the last guy he lived with; how he'd watch Seinfeld DVDs with the sound off and play his guitar at the same time. What bothered my co-worker wasn't the guitar playing per se, but rather that the guy sucked, and he did this all the time. So I started doing the same. Nah, I actually waited until that co-worker was shipped off somewhere else.
I'd watch hockey games cause you don't really need sound except for Coach's Corner. It wasn't long before I'd turned on the closed captioning and was watching other things while playing my sweet Charvel. I recommend everybody try it. Some shows are better than others in close captioning accompanied by a trans-like blues riff you've been playing for 90 minutes. Most notably: CSI:Miami (Horatio is even more hilarious when you imagine his voice), Seinfeld is good for this(it helps if you've seen them all ten thousand times), and Sue Thomas FBI (I love the little music notes, also the irony). Of course there is a major drawback. Commercials generally don't have closed captioning. Luckily I watch enough TV while not playing the guitar to have seen most of the commercials elsewhere. Doesn't that last sentence sum it up though? Life is divided into time spent playing the guitar, and time spent not playing. Oh yeah, mowing the lawn and doing dishes too.